October 2013. I will never forget that day, the hours, the minutes I lay in the hospital scared shitless. I had no real idea what was actually happening. I literally just could not stop bleeding. The months and weeks of intense and a non-stop cycle. I attributed it to age. I attributed it to normalcy. Ain’t that normal? What do you mean it’s not? Having my period for close to 16 days was not the way to live?
Well, I had been living that way. I do not know anything else but that moment in the hospital. I lay down and the doctor came into my room and told me that I indeed had uterine fibroids. And with that declaration, the room faded to black. Suddenly he was throwing around careless words like hysterectomy and childless. how can you tell a 33 year old woman in the prime of her life such a thing?
I fainted at school, on campus. I was unable to make it to class more often than I cared to count and I thought my graduation was in real danger. I could not move from my dorm room bed, I could not keep a damn sanitary napkin or tampon. I burned through them all. What I did for the next twelve months was in between sort of babysitting it and straight up ignoring it. Five months after that, I had fallen really ill and the fibroids were taking over my entire life. More on that in another post. Now I am paying full attention. Now I am fighting it the natural and holistic way. I am daring to keep my womb and keep my ovaries and keep my uterus. I will be a mother and I will carry and birth my own children.
These fibroids can’t have my life. They can’t have my dreams either. I’m going to shrink them. Black motherhood is too fragile and argued about in America. I will not let my future children have no choice because of a callous and uncaring medical system that wants to bill you, pillage you and slice you. Not me. Not now. Not without me trying my damnedest first.
This is my story. I am not a doctor. I am doing what works for me. But share and chronicle, I must.
Community around the Uterine Fibroids Life 
That is amazing. I’ve never had to be as brave as you are, so I will not say that I understand. That would be rude to you. You’ve endured the pain and the anger. You are brave. You’ve taken your life back into your own hands and you will overcome this diagnosis.
As I said before, I don’t know the feelings that you have felt. I do have a story, it’s not mine, but I’d like to share it.
My mother has battled fibroid tumors. She’s battled it her entire life. She thought that it was normal to regularly bleed through pads and tampons over night. She thought that everyone changed their pads and tampons every hour. Her doctor finally caught it. It was only after she had become weak, frail, gaunt, and withered. She was practically rushed into surgery, but not to be robbed of what makes her woman, but to remove those horrid things. She had a few the size of large fruits and several the size of golf balls or smaller. She had them removed. I’m thankful that everything worked out. Her reproductive organs are still in working order, but she runs the risks of having more later.
I just wanted to share her story, not to make you feel that your story is insignificant, but to show you that you’re not alone. Be brave. Strong women are few in numbers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
wow, thank you so much. Your response was so humbling for me to read. I share this now because I am in the middle of it, and I need to chronicle my experience. I also had a hard time finding others with similarities to me that I cold connect with. I do want to reach and meet women dealing with this and also, their partners. How does that support appear? It is so hard. I thank you, again for sharing and telling me your mom’s story.
LikeLiked by 1 person